You say Crone as if it's a bad thing...

I remember the first time someone called me a "bitch". I proudly countered with the snappy retort, "You say BITCH as if it's a bad thing!". OK... I didn't just counter..... I screamed... but proudly.

I'm way past the age where calling me a "bitch" might offend me. But call me a "crone"? Is that a fighting word now? What exactly IS a crone?

True to our generation we have exhaustively researched the subject of menopause. We know it's symptoms, the physical effects, the psychological repercussions and the meaning of the word "menopause".

But aren't we all our worst enemies? I summon up all those negative connotations when I think of a witch, a crone. And we know all about crones, thank you, Wikipedia. A witch. Green-tinted. A wart here and there. Not married, of course. On her own. Independent. Assertive. Getting what she wants. Not too burdened by wondering what others are thinking about her. Way past child-bearing age. Does this sound like anyone we know? Well, except for the green thing. And... warts.....

Don't we all want independence? To keep it. To foster it, even? And getting our own way. During menopause we tend to lose the oxytocin hormone. The 'caregiving' hormone which is linked to women and childbirth. Loss of the hormone which might encourage us to overlook our own needs to focus on our families. It's no surprise, then, that women in their 50's initiate divorce more often than do men in their 50's.

To many, they've had enough. No more caregiving left in them. In fact, if we become grandmothers, then we brag about giving the children back to their parents after we spoil them a little. Not too interested in that 24/7 childrearing thing.

And worried about what others think? Who wrote that poem, "When I'm an old woman I shall wear purple?" She had it right. If I want to wear purple and red, then who's to criticize? Or if they do... do I care?

We only need to look a little closer at the definitions of "crone" to uncover a slightly different interpretation. A wise woman. Someone past child-bearing age. One of the Three Goddesses in the Gaia religion. Now I like that. That speaks to me. Mother Nature.

Assertive. Strong. Independent and confident. Describes every one of my women friends. I want to think that likes attract. And even if they don't, I can definitely strive to be more like the women, fictional and real, that I admire.

Either way you dish it up (except for the green thing.... and the warts...) I don't think I'll be too offended by being called, even in my own mind, Crone. In fact, I think I might even re-read Wicked. Thank you, Gregory Maguire.